Found this on the net… pretty funny!Â Darwin would laugh.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.Â To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters.Â That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately.Â The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior.Â I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest.Â Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength.Â In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.Â Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms.Â I consider this “grant money.”Â I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament.Â From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.